Showing affection isn’t something you talk about much in the pub
But bring to mind when someone decided to do something nice for you. Maybe a friend sent a text message to make you giggle before a interview or your brother gave an earful to someone who bullied you. Maybe a pal made you a cup of tea just the way you like it, even though to them it’s disgustingly milky.
They were thinking about you and it helped. That kind of thoughtfulness probably opened you up a little – allowed you to peep over your wall and lower your drawbridge. Do you care what they look like? How well off they are? Do you think about how well they have done in their career? Nah.
That’s because kindness kicks everything else’s arse.
All anyone really wants is to be happy. Even appallingly arrogant merchant bankers are in desperate need of kindness most of the time. But the fear of your actions being misinterpreted or rejected often stops you from reaching out. So maybe start small, include it in your meditation practice, then look for teeny opportunities to lift someone’s spirits.
Little bits of goodwill…
Be patient with someone who bores you.
Ask more questions.
Remember people’s preferences.
Stop thinking they dislike you.
Don’t read the Daily Mail.
Give the bus driver freshly-cooked sausages.
Remember everyone does things for a reason they think is okay.
Planting small seeds of kindness in your day builds momentum and releases you from the pressure of being a total tube the rest of the time.